How to Overcome Fear and Discover Your True Worthiness - part 1 of 3
- violetflameworld
- 11 minutes ago
- 4 min read
Glossophobia”… it’s a word I didn’t know until I started putting this blog post together. Ironically, there was a time in my life when, if I’d looked up the definition, I wouldn’t have been surprised to find my picture staring back at me!
Glossophobia - The Fear of Public Speaking: Key Facts
Public speaking—known as glossophobia—is one of the world's most common fears. An estimated 75% of people experience some level of anxiety when speaking in front of an audience, making it one of the most prevalent social fears. In many surveys, it often ranks above the fear of death as people's top fear.
The fear is so widespread that more than 50% of people say they would do almost anything to avoid giving a speech, while 20% have admitted to pretending to be sick or making excuses to avoid presentations. Research also suggests that 5–10% of people experience severe, debilitating glossophobia.
Years ago, I was part of that latter group—the 5–10% who experienced the severe, debilitating form of this fear.
Fear of Public Speaking Shaped My College and Career Choices
In college, I would schedule classes taught in large auditoriums whenever possible. My thinking seemed reasonable at the time - in a large class, I was less likely to be called on and risk the embarrassment of not knowing the answer, etc.
Interestingly, the girl I dated throughout much of college was very outgoing and loved being in front of people. During that time, I was very happy because, in many ways, she complemented me in areas where I struggled. But when the relationship eventually ended, I realized that, in some ways, it had also been a crutch. I was suddenly dealing not only with the loss of the relationship but also with the return of my old, familiar fears.
It was a challenging time, but it taught me an important lesson: I couldn't rely on someone else to substitute for something I needed to learn to master myself.
After graduation, in job interviews, I listened carefully for any signs a job would involve being in front of larger groups of people. If so, I would somehow “self-sabotage” or pivot away from job opportunities I was otherwise qualified for.
Enter my Teacher, the Thrill Seeker
Early in my professional career, I worked in a somewhat stressful financial position. My boss was young, ambitious, and seemed to have a need for the spotlight. He was a chain-smoking, Dr. Pepper-drinking [1] manager who could best be described as an adrenaline junkie or thrill seeker.
Life has a funny way of putting us in situations where “opposites attract.” Often, we find ourselves drawn to people who possess qualities we lack or who help bring some needed balance to our own lives. I often refer to these situations now as the “rock polisher”—one where people or circumstances align themselves to provide an opportunity to smooth out some of our rough edges.
One day, my boss met with our team and announced that we would be putting together a statewide financial conference. He explained that it would be a great opportunity for all of us to get to know one another better and become better informed.
Then came the jaw-dropping part.
He told us that each of us would be giving a presentation to all of the conference attendees—numbering in the hundreds.
For someone who had spent years doing almost anything possible to avoid speaking in front of a group, this was about as terrifying an assignment as I could imagine!
The Call Compels the Answer
By this time, I was in my mid-twenties and was slowly learning how to not let fear rule my life. At the time, there was no Internet where you could instantly access unlimited information about almost any subject or condition. So, I went to a local bookstore looking for answers.
After walking around for several minutes, I summoned the courage to ask one of the employees if they had any books on public speaking
The employee directed me to the appropriate section, and the first book I pulled from the shelf was Dale Carnegie’s book [2] on public speaking. I very tentatively stood there and began reading the first chapter.
What happened next was life-changing.
For the first time, I realized that I wasn't alone. I discovered there were many other people who had faced and were overcoming challenges similar to mine.
That moment marked the first step in a lifelong journey—not just toward becoming a better speaker, but toward becoming more confident, more courageous, and ultimately, more comfortable with my own sense of worthiness.
Looking back, I realize my boss was one of my most important teachers. And I’m grateful to say that many years later he is a trusted friend. And we both recognize that we have helped each other through a few of life's tests along the way.
The Road to True Worthiness – Identifying and Overcoming our Greatest Fear
Public speaking isn’t the only fear that can hold us back. There are many others. Ultimately, I believe these fears are symptoms of a deeper underlying issue—one that the following excerpt from the popular movie Akeelah and the Bee [3] illustrates beautifully.
What about this “deepest fear” and the Light we seem to avoid or shy away from? In parts 2 and 3 of this blog series, we will share with you tried and true methods (including more stories from my own journey towards worthiness) for overcoming fear and developing the greater Light which is in all of us!
Until next time…
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. - Dale Carnegie
Footnotes and other info:
[1] Dr Pepper — a popular American soda with a distinctive sweet-and-spicy flavor.
[2] Dale Carnegie, How to Develop Self-Confidence & Influence People by Public Speaking (most recent release - Gallery Books, 2017).
[3] Doug Atchison, dir., Akeelah and the Bee (Lionsgate, 2006).
