How to Overcome Fear and Discover Your True Worthiness - part 2 of 3
- violetflameworld
- 19 hours ago
- 10 min read
In Part I of this blog series, I shared a personal and hopefully instructive account of my own journey through my greatest fear.
Throughout this series, I hope to continue to refer to public speaking as a primary example of a fear that can be overcome. It is one of the greatest challenges I have faced in this life and, therefore, provides a deeply personal and relatable example.
It is my hope that, by sharing these experiences, you will find encouragement, insight, and practical guidance to embrace your own deepest fear and begin to discover true worthiness.
Overcoming fear is among the most important topics we will explore here at Violet Flame World because it:
• enables us to shift from less desirable to more desirable behaviors and actions
• is key to understanding and becoming who we truly are
• helps us discover and fulfill our unique purpose or plan in life
When is the actual moment when a person overcomes fear and becomes truly worthy?
I believe the key lies in how we might answer if asked: When does a flower bloom or a piece of fruit ripen?
The answer, like so many things in life, is that it’s process—a series of steps and a journey all rolled into one. There is no single instant when the transformation is complete. Indeed, the journey is the goal.
Following are some practical steps you can take to begin to identify and overcome your deepest fear and develop an unshakable sense of worthiness.
Take an Honest Self-Inventory
Sometimes, the saying “I have met the enemy, and the enemy is me” is more applicable in life than we might want to admit.
However, I have found over many years that a vigorous self-inventory and willingness to take an honest look at myself has been the source of some of my most meaningful accomplishments.
As an example, I have found The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous [1] to be one of a number of very helpful resources for self-inventory. These steps can, in part or in whole, be applied to nearly any fear or behavior we are trying to overcome.
The first two steps or traditions, in particular, are an effective starting point for self-inventory and can be summarized as:
1. The recognition and admission of a fear or behavior – one we feel powerless to overcome and that has made our lives unmanageable.
2. A belief that a Power greater than ourselves can begin to restore us.
There are many other tools available to use as part of an effective, honest self-inventory. And most have one thing in common. It involves learning to recognize and follow the right “voice”. There is the authentic voice of intuition or conscience which is always cheering and encouraging us forward. And there is a counterfeit voice which opposes nearly everything worthwhile we try to accomplish. Learning to discern the right voice is one the most important things we can accomplish in life!
Put Fear into Perspective
Fear thrives on uncertainty and self-doubt. It tells you:
“Who do you think you are?”
“What if you fail and look stupid?”
“Don’t even try, you’ll probably just get rejected anyway.”
“Everyone is watching or judging me.”
One day, I was sharing with a close friend my anxiety over an upcoming public presentation. You might say I had been listening to the counterfeit voice. Suddenly, my friend looked directly at me and said, “You mustn’t assume everyone is so interested in what you are doing or saying.”
This feedback was very liberating. Too often, I had imagined that everyone in the room was solely focused on me when, in reality, many were just thinking about themselves or something unrelated.
Also, whenever I was confronted with a fearful assignment such as speaking in front of an audience, I would ask myself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”
There are all types of public speaking: class and work presentations, wedding toasts, TED-style talks, and countless others. On average, these presentations typically last about five minutes.
The average human life contains approximately 38 million minutes. Five minutes is just 0.000013% of that time - a tiny portion of a lifetime. Therefore, how much power should five minutes of public speaking (or any other so-called fearful event) have over us?!
Sometimes, putting a fear into perspective is enough to take away much of its power.
Do the Thing You Fear
“Always do what you are afraid to do.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Early in my professional career, I attended Toastmasters [2] meetings. It was there that I found a positive environment to practice public speaking, receive supportive feedback, and gradually build self-confidence.
Sometimes, just showing up to the meetings helped as I was able to interact with a roomful of supportive people who were also in the midst of dealing with and overcoming their own fear of public speaking.
Stop Shrinking to Make Others Comfortable
“The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another's keeping.” - Dale Carnegie
Years ago, I remember my high school math teacher passing out the latest test results. It was late in the semester and finals were approaching. After all the test results were handed out, the teacher turned to the class and made an announcement.
He told us that, statistically speaking, everyone needed to take the final exam in order to pass the class—except for one person.
Our teacher then looked directly at me and told everyone that I was that person. His manner and tone were anything but congratulatory or inspirational – it had a “vibe” which caused the class to respond with a chorus of derisive “oohs” and “aahs”.
Fortunately, the shock at the behavior of my teacher, a profession I was raised to respect, wore off quickly. So did the reaction from the class. But the experience stayed with me and I learned a couple of valuable, lifelong lessons.
First, I realized that I shouldn’t put others—including my teacher—on a pedestal that no one can realistically live up to.
Second, I began to learn that I shouldn’t hide my talents and abilities simply because they might make others uncomfortable. I needed to be true to myself and allow these gifts to be seen by others as a way of honoring the Source from where they came.
It’s a good time to point that true worthiness is not arrogance. There is an important difference. Knowing your value doesn’t mean you are more valuable than anyone else!
The road to genuine self-worth can be remarkably humbling. I learned that lesson soon enough in college where I found myself surrounded by intelligent people and realized I was no longer the smartest person in the room!
“Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.” [3]
Believe in Your Worthiness
A wise man once said, “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”
This adage applies to so many situations in life, and I believe it applies here as well. Ultimately, you have to believe in and accept your true worthiness. No one else can do it for you.
And remember, it is ultimately all a journey and a process – one where you strive and do the best you can. There are many opportunities to learn and grow with few shortcuts along the way.
True worthiness isn’t about becoming perfect either. Instead, it’s a deep understanding that you are an okay person even while you are still in the state of becoming worthy.
Growth takes time and trying to force it rarely makes it happen any faster. As the saying goes, you can’t ripen an apple with a blowtorch!
As you begin to experience and believe in your true worthiness, fear will begin to lose its power.
Discover Your Calling
Over the years, I discovered activities that I felt deeply called to pursue – ones where I was willing to persevere in spite of the fears and obstacles that stood in the way of accomplishing them. I believe this is an important key in overcoming fear because our calling is often stronger than our fear!
Interestingly, several of these callings included being in front of people - teaching, presenting, and sharing ideas. In other words, some of the very things I feared the most were interconnected with those I felt most called to do.
Perhaps this is what true worthiness looks like in practice – not an absence of fear, but the willingness to move forward in spite of it.
Worthiness in Action - Two Inspiring Examples
Thinking will not overcome fear but action will. – W. Clement Stone
Fear can be loud or it can whisper. Either way it says - you’re not ready, not qualified, not enough of this or that. Fear wins until worthiness begins to show up.
Following are inspiring stories of two individuals, each a stellar example of overcoming fear and uncertainty, discovering true purpose, and providing a valuable service to others.
Meet Guy Ballard.
His life wasn’t always easy. In his earlier years, like many of us, he was simply trying to discover his purpose in life.
The turning point in his life occurred one day as he was walking on Broadway in Los Angeles. His thoughts were weighty and self-condemnatory. At some point, he suddenly stopped and gave a fiat which challenged his own “inner critic”. He said: “You have scared me for the last time. You have no power.” [4]
Soon thereafter Guy Ballard founded the I AM Movement [5] in the early 1930’s.
He taught that we all have a Divine Presence within us. And as we acknowledge and call upon this Presence, we can begin to discover our own true worthiness and ultimately put it into action to help others.
Guy Ballard also taught that everyone has the opportunity to access a higher dimension of spiritual Light called the Violet Flame - a powerful tool we can use to transform our lives. For those who regularly follow our work, you’ll recognize that the violet flame is at the heart of nearly everything we share here at Violet Flame World!
Mark Prophet founded the Summit Lighthouse [6] in 1958. He also shared much of the early understanding and practice of the Violet Flame with the world.
But early on, Mark was hesitant to begin his life’s work because he did not yet believe he was “good enough”. At one point, it dawned on him that if he waited to be “perfect” he would be of little use in this world because he would have already moved on to the next one. We can all learn through Mark’s experience!
Mark used to say – “It’s not enough to do good, you have to be good.”
This is valuable advice to follow. Oftentimes, doing good can take us partway down the road to finding our true worthiness. But ultimately, it’s the process of becoming that matters most.
It’s instructive that two of the figures most responsible for bringing an understanding and practice of the violet flame [7] to the world first had to confront their own fears. In addition, they had to discover and accept their true worthiness before they could fulfill their mission of sharing profound knowledge and wisdom with the world.
Truly, their footsteps are ones we can follow to help us discover and embrace our own unique purpose and calling.
In Part 3 of this blog series, we will look more closely at what happens when we move beyond our deepest fear and discover the greater purpose that has been waiting for us on the other side all along. Join us as we explore profound spiritual truths and the source of our true worthiness!
We conclude with a poem by Edgar Albert Guest [8] entitled “It Couldn’t Be Done”. It’s one to keep in a prominent place and refer to often. It’s an inspirational and powerful reminder that we are all walking the road to overcoming our deepest fear and finding our true worthiness.
Until next time…
"It Couldn’t Be Done"
by Edgar Albert Guest
Somebody said that it couldn’t be done
But he with a chuckle replied
That “maybe it couldn’t,” but he would be one
Who wouldn’t say so till he tried.
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
On his face. If he worried he hid it.
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn’t be done, and he did it!
Somebody scoffed: “Oh, you’ll never do that;
At least no one ever has done it;”
But he took off his coat and he took off his hat
And the first thing we knew he’d begun it.
With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
Without any doubting or quiddit,
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn’t be done, and he did it.
There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
There are thousands to prophesy failure,
There are thousands to point out to you one by one,
The dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,
Just take off your coat and go to it;
Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing
That “cannot be done,” and you’ll do it.
Footnotes and other info
[1] The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
For more information, visit Alcoholics Anonymous
[2] For more information, visit Toastmasters International
[3] Matthew 5:15 (King James Version)
[4] Adapted from the Ascended Master Encyclopedia
[5] For more information about Guy Ballard and the I AM movement, visit the Saint Germain Foundation
[6] For more information about Mark Prophet, visit the Summit Lighthouse
[7] For thousands of years, the violet flame was known to only a few saints and mystics of East and West. It was taught by Jesus and other spiritual teachers to only certain devotees, so as not to be misused by mankind. The violet flame wasn’t shared publicly until the 1930s. Today, the violet flame is understood and practiced by thousands of people around the world.
[8] Edgar Albert Guest (1881-1959) was a British-born American poet who became known as the People's Poet. His poems often had an inspirational and optimistic view of everyday life.
